Whilst falling in love can happen instantly, falling out of love takes time, and often it can be confusing whether you just love someone or are still in love with someone.
So what’s the difference?
Being in love with someone is seeing yourself with them for the long term, and finding happiness in your daily routine together. You cherish memories and special moments, still feel butterflies when they text or call and, most significantly, can’t envision your life with anyone else. Sure, they annoy you and you argue once in a while because every couple does, but never would that make you think of leaving.
If you love someone, you care for their health and needs, you enjoy spending time with them and you’d hate to think of them upset or in pain. But there is a niggling feeling that there could be more to this. You harbour the thought of what your future will be like if you were elsewhere, or with someone else. You think you can do better. You feel unsettled and discontented.
Trying to distinguish between the two can feel like an impossible task, especially when you’re the only one who can shed light on your situation.
To try and help you, however, here’s a list of signs that may point you in the right direction and help you figure out if this is just a ‘phase’ or you’ve fallen out of love, period.
Of course, we’re not advocating you ship out at the first instance. If you’re sensing major issues and still think there’s a way to rescue the relationship, stop the destructive behaviour right now and try counselling.
By Nicola Watson, February 2019
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